still lickin' my paws

Saturday, August 14, 2010

on my sister's car ride back, my whole mind is filled with the conflicts among the seniors. how could things have gone so bad; why are some people so stubborn; why some people just cannot tolerate; what could have been done; what can be done..

but the moment i opened the door to alight. i was overwhelmed.

a dead mynah.

i shrilled.

then we realised something horrible happened to it. how could anyone could have been so cold-hearted. so brutal to a living thing. it was such a contrast to my every conscious attempts to pick up snails during rainy days from being crushed under the the feet of those quick-rhythmed blind souls. and to think i used my paddle to send a floating snail, still alive, from the waters onto the nearest soil i could get it to.

i could not figure out how and why a metal coil, you know those that you use to bunch up keys, was pierced through the poor bird's throat and beak. oh wait. it wasnt just A COIL. it was multiple coils. i prayed, one of these rare situations that i do other that before an examination, very very deeply that it had already been dead by the time the abuser had found it. but i know it's most likely just my own wishing thinking. can you believe my eyes blurred? i couldnt help but think how effing pain it felt and the helpless-ness it was undergoing with every volume of blood it lost. it's like stapling your mouth with a charcoal in your oral cavity. hmph.

the nightmare didnt just end here. the mynah's feet was tied with nylon such that it couldnt escape. tied so tightly that perhaps its hollow bone, supposed to be advantageous by being light for its flight, was long fractured like a dried twig.

educated and civilised as we may be. we're still as cruel as we were 3000 years ago. sad. humans havent grown up. you just gotta admit it. somewhere within us, there exists a violence trigger. just like how you can never tame a wild animal. aint it?

All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 11:40 PM

Monday, August 2, 2010

had my fair share of fun and laughter amongst my sorta rushy-hushy schedule over the weekend.

that saturday was a special day.
anyway, went out to bugis for bag-hunting after morning training on saturday and returned back to school with claire stepf n prissy with a mindful of thoughts if i had made an impulse buy. because the more i look at it, the more i hesitate to like it. the colour isnt very pleasant to me suddenly, which is such a contrast to that in the shop where i was so confident that brown was THE colour. *sigh.
was still hyper on the mrt back to school but was officially half-alive when in the pool. even though i got capped a couple of times---the thought of drowning or even getting wet SHOULD have awaken me-- i could feel my eyebags swelling and eyelids gaining weight as though it was undergoing puberty. oh wells. i feel bad not putting in even 90% for training that night, but i seriously felt that i was getting feverish from all the scorching and dehydration earlier in the day.

jumped out from bed the moment i heard my dad's voice. zomg. still exhausted from saturday. mad rush for a breakfast and back home and then vivo. i actually forgot to comb my hair. so freaking tangled cause i fell asleep while waiting for my hair to dry the night before. and it was one of the few rare occasions that i hadnt prepared what to wear and match for an outing. SHAGGGED. lunch at marche where i share food and hence cost with dan jo n px. argh. seet must be damn sian cause we didnt ask her to share the loot with us. ps ps. and dan has amazingly larger appetite than both the guys at the table. or should i say, wh n yh were simply being modest cause it wasnt a buffet? lol. anyway wasnt very enthu at the table cause 1. 80% of the conversation was about NUS 2. most of the frequency detected were that of the range of dan's.. 3. it seemed more like a debate between med sch and dentistry wrt who's better and stronger in all aspects.
drifted around to ben & jerry where jh and john came along. and seet, who was the only one who wanted and bought b&j, left. =.= so we had to give up the table we just cleaned.
finally settled at mindscafe@dhoby where we were at a very un-high mood. haha. shant mention why. but it got better till its peak of the day after syah came along like FINALLY. haha.
the gathering ended quite abruptly at Cathay's traffic junction. i guess john n yh were too engrossed over the phone while syah was um, to busy following the guys, leaving the girls in disbelief behind. way to go mans. lol. in the end it was just px and john bidding goodbye on behalf of each other over the phone hahahah.
another mad rush to amk where i got picked up for family steamboat dinner. woohoo. afterwhich, i just came home, changed out, and quickly catch up for my beauty sleep. tah-dah. another week's gone.

All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 2:35 PM