surviving the odds

and still making my stand



where is the freaking laptop i ordered!!!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

school term started for a couple of weeks and i still have loads of breath. i havent found myself sinking deep into notes and tutorials.. only the awful pinch on the amount of $ i spend each day, even if it was neccessity like food and travelling and NOTES. it was a slap further when friends around me talk about their tuition kids and comparing the amount they earn each month while i have to make do with 300bucks per month and yet try to squeeze out some into savings from all that i have. have i mentioned i havent earnt a 4 digit sum yet? then again, im lucky enough to be spared from bank loans though i make it a point to return the dough back when i work in the future. oh wells, university life i reckoned. sometimes people end up being more insensitive or they might just be indirectly mocking you. it's part and parcel of growing up.

ahh also. i bought a laptop with what i earned from working during the longest break from school i've ever had. in fact, i can somewhat say i made the decision myself. and you guessed it, i got the cheapest i could afford. i couldnt bear to part with even 50 bucks more to spare myself from the waits i'll get for documents to load. stingy, thrifty. whatever. money management matters more than ever. seriously. but of course there are those occassional splurges that i explode with.. and even made to make do with, like dinner at some restaurants instead of a cafe or sort.

alrighty, so it turned out girls soccer does exists in ntu and nie students join that too. yay. but perhaps because of the excitement i had after months of game-droughts, i twisted and sprained my foot to a real bad sore that is beginning to slowly fade out of my life.. i figured it'll take AT LEAST another week to recover and for me to attend trainings and stuff. in the mean time, i gotta decide on the cca im gonna join. canoe-polo or soccer? canoe-polo is new and sounds just as awesome as soccer. and very much cleaner(with so much lesser mud). then there's this cute guy i found(FINALLY AN EYECANDY) who might be joining the cca too. most importantly, my foot steers clear away from any opponents inside the fibre-glass canoe. and there's no worries about getting a paddle in your face since you'll be wearing a helmet, a vest and..etc. at most i'll just get a bruise on my.. ARM??!!(WAATTT. AHH FREAK) alright, so why am i hesistating? water is nice, but not when you're a girl(get it?). and imagine all the constant soaking in chlorine water(ok. this is just a big hoo-haa. since i'll be ON the water not in it.) then there comes the though of having huge masculine arms O_o and not having the opportunity to run around wild on the "grassland" like in soccer. and freckles. shucks.(freckles are my main concern compared to most girly girls who fear being tanned) oh yes, i cant bear to let my soccer boots rot away in the corner of the room after i finally put them to good use last week(when i sprained my ligament).

next i got my chance to perform on stage but i screwed it up haha. oh wells. you cant expect someone who's got metal brackets cutting her in the mouth to sing too well right. alright. excuse if you deem it. i guess it's either more experience or just plain acting that suits me better (: my lower jaw got braced in SCREAMING PINK yesterday(but it's not prominent. so im actually more disappointed). so my gum's sore and i've been eating near-baby food since. hah. talk about back to basics. okie dokie. till then(when my laptop arrives the coming week. dangs. it better not be delayed again. I WANT MY FREE PRINTER)



All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 3:35 PM





school started.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

oh wells. back to hostel tonight. (: and i leave my poor lonely mom at home ): then again, she might find herself raising her blood pressure less?? :\

while i still am trying to figure out where the better computers and printers are in my school, it seems im pretty set on getting a laptop still. no facebook is fine. msn? chaye. but at least gimme some connection to the ntu internet web portal where i can get the notes that have unfortunately been uploaded at the most inconvenient hour by the sometimes inconsiderate lecturers. OH WELLS. and i need to do my research, my homework. ARGH. everything's about computer, IT, e-learning and all. im glad MIND YOUR BODY reported an article relating hours in front of computer with blood pressure. like wow. im just hoping that moe reacts to it soon. i dont wanna graduate at 24 years old to find myself with blood pressure of a 42 yr old.

perhaps is the lack of entertainment in life. i start to find britney AWESOME. HMMMM. like how amazing she has come since she entered the entertainment biz. i mean, she's still pretty much normal despite getting all that shave tattoos and wild parties. she's just trying to grab back what she lost as a rebellious teenager. and somehow, i seem to increasingly apathise and adore her. oh wells. i think im still sane.

saturday i coincidentally came across kelvin chen wei liang's little small walk-over concert. and i found him cute. for the jokes he put on himself to entertain the crowd, the confidence he gave out, the way he played her guitar and he's amazingly touching voice. i guess the music that comes from a handicapped is always more unique and different. hah. im still thinking of him. and he's 'angelic' voice.

then i caught up with a movie after ages since i watched in cinemas. THE ORPHAN is a fantastic plot. it's twists and turns, ups and downs. and yet i didnt manage to get to the answer until the very end of the movie. how cool. how mind blobbing. and now. i really dread kids. all the more if they were not mine. :\

for those who do not want to know the plot, stop here. (:

jessica was a still-born and brought griefs to her parents. and so the couple adopted a child named esther with the thought that they could give the love they were preparing for jessica to esther. esther comes out of the plot as a mature, highly intelligent girl who loves to paint. like who doesnt like such kid who speaks so well-manneredly... it later turns out esther was way more than what she looked and behaved. she was brutal and manipulative---she stoned down a pigeon into a bloody mass of meat, hammered a head and even fractured her own arm with one of those tools you use to hold wood/metal pieces in place. like FREAKING OOUCH and ridiculous. the possibilities in most people's mind was that, she had some character disorder, she was possessed, she was a spy sent(which would turn out to be a F-graded movie if she were to..), she's merely strange?? blah blah blah. finally the answer revealed. she dresses herself up in a black lace gown with thick makeup and heels and walks over to the bewildered man of the house. and she confesses her love for him. she would kill to make the guy love her, to make the family fall apart because of her. and she did when the confused guy explained the type of love for her. (i was surprised why the guy didnt have to strength to keep the blade away. and yeah. he got stabbed to death. but i wasnt as sympathising as i was for the pigeon..)esther is not a nine year old but a freaking 33 year old suffering from dwarfism that fortunately or not, keep her back from passing puberty. O_o no wonder she was so smart. no wonder she could plot, manipulate people's mind and murder without ever being the suspect. and no wonder she painted gruesome and sexual images that could only be revealed under UV light. i was glad she died. and so did the cheating husband. (and even more glad at least he cheated with a normal woman instead of a "child" called esther. PHEWW.)

haha. omg. im such a bad narrator. OH WELLS. till next week. or the week after.. or.. i dont know. i only know my gums are sore. and it will be next week and the week after and.. and.. AH.



All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 3:35 PM










clawedwretch
she’s not here, she’s not there.
and she neither stays nor does she hide






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