i didn noe e worst has yet to come.
i cried. i screamed. i called my friends for some consolation. but it healed nth. she still passed away today. yes today 31/7/2006 at 4.30pm. i was on my way there! alrdy on e stupid idiot express way.. less than 5 mins there! but she couldnt wait any longer.
i entered e room. armchair n sofas for e concerned pple to sit n sobber over e death of their pet. there lay my beloved dachi. motionless on e table,covered with a white towel. tongue sticking out though still pink but obviously turning into shades of yellow pigmentations. the bloody tube tt was inserted into her vein/artery still left on her right forelimb. she felt very warm. as though she was just sleeping. oh my gawd. i couldnt take e pressure any more. i burst out,not in laughter,but in infinite painful groans.
i pat her thigh. leaving e upper body to my mom whose eyes also swelled like a goldfish's. eeks. what's tt under e cloth, so moist n warm.. gradually, e truth surfaced, it was her blood. somehow, it surfaced up her skin. oh my. so painful. e pain sunk even deeper.
"bless u. bless u. may u find happiness in ur next life....as human hopefully." not to forget, live a life with a blessed fate. u suffered much. and u'r so young when u died! u'r only 5yr 7mths old!!!!
i left e room, bidding silent goodbye to e permanent death on e foldable table... extremely reluctantly. past memories flowed continually into my mind. i couldnt let go of her. i wished she survived. if she did.. i would give her anything. yes anything. even if it'd cost me a hole in my pocket or more household work to do when her fur falls all over e floor.
option for processing of e body? i greatly wished for a cremation whereby we could still get back her ashes. but y? y did my mom choose mass cremation where we would be unable to identiy which ashes is whose? i broke down agn,gasping for breath as my mom penned down her signature on e document. NNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
e request for only e badge to be returned as memories of dachi was definitely granted. we wanted her to carry her collar aong as she left for another world. but e assistant seemed to be deaf or sth. she brought e entire collar along n gave it to us. oh no. now she doesnt have a collar. it signifies a dog tt has no owner.. oh no. dachi. dun worry. u noe i love u. i'll burn a candle for u everyday. i promise tt i wont eat any 4-legged animal startin from now for u like wat i did for winnie.
chem test tmr. i cant be bothered it seems. im so distracted. i cried like it was going to be a end of the world. i wonder if i'll survive e rest of e week. oh pls. give me support. lots of it.
god bless. god bless. n i bless.
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 9:53 PM
and the tears you cry
at 9:53 PM
worse than ever.
wanted to walk to sch this morning but mom woke bro up at like 6.30am to make him fetch me to sch cause it was raing. but i insisted to walk. in e end, i still rode bro's car. i was pissed.
not because of mom/bro.. but y my dog is so ill. i want it to come back. cried to moment i reached sch today.. in fact i started cryin away last night.. even sms-ed minghwei--who didn even reply.. and fion--who actually still joked with me regarding e issue. oh gawd. i dun think i can take e impact if she leaves me. i love her. im sure she does to me too. but y? i cannot cherish her as much as now even though i wanted to in e past or even the day b4 she really fell really ill.
i cried. i want to cry. in my heart. im still cryin.pls. get well. i want to see u running freely at e grassy area agn, see u rubbing ur back against e grassy ground satisfactorily and raising all ur paws into e air.
i love u.
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 10:43 AM
and the tears you cry
at 10:43 AM
morons.
better known as moronic moaning partner.. me n fion exchanged pinafore today agn.. i was definitely wearing a mini-skirt. wait till u c the pics.... somewhere here or elsewhere. then fion suggested this stupid idea which i stupidly agreed to it... : walk out of e class with our exchanged pinafore in front of e whole class to amuse our maths teacher. sadly. i think she cudnt b bothered.. she looked rather pissed.. oh no!
lessons ended at 1.30pm for our prelim english oral. shitto. nailed it down-->u see.. pple always screw it up.. so i decided to nail. :)
anw,i think it kinda sux... but still glad not everything went wrong la. hahas. yeah!
tmr still got amaths n social studies tests... havent studied yet. but cant b bothered.. maybe later after dinner... well.. i sleep late. dun u noe tt? ok ok. shall take a LONG nap it i sleep REALLY late. as in like 1.30am?! im off to check on someone's profile agn!!! i think fion shud noe tt.. *whines.
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 5:42 PM
and the tears you cry
at 5:42 PM
what? how? why?
oh no... i feel soooo lonely now... how could he... argggh...
i got nth to say.. n apparently i've been whining coz of him since like sat which is like abt 3 days ago?? y? y? y? y did u post tt pic? make me so jealous n lost now.
now i've gotta find a new target until. wells. --now i love e song gal next door by saving jane all coz of him... or rather.. if u happen to b here.. it's u! yesh u!
whines. all e way to sch n back agn. the cycle shall repeat until i go numb.
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 5:38 PM
and the tears you cry
at 5:38 PM
whooze// ah-choo!
i think my loud ah-chooin sound is kinda known in class liao... fancy ah-chooin suddenly during tests, after e teacher finsihed speaking and so on. even fiona is afraid of me whenever i want to sneeze...
" stop! yingshi, u cannot sneeze. i DUN care. dun care dun like..." my everest dearest moronic moaning partner.. does this sound familiar? ahahaha.
15/7:
supposed to meeting stupid ming hwei n yit an at macritchie reservoir at 8.30... but both of them came 10 min late when i actually came 10 min earlier?! arrgghhh. but nvm. it was definitely a very fine day. gees.
walked 5km just to get to e tree-top walk.. and yitan was alrdy half-dead at 2.6km... pls. we WERE walking. ok ok. there were steep uneven slopes la... fine watever... but it was damn fun. but sad to say.. i this kind of person.. dunno whether issit coz of e hanging bridge or issit becoz of e height... gosh. i was kinda freaked out when e metal pave under me creaked loudly... aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (p/s: i was still tryin to find a place to answer nature's call ok)
after almost gettin lost agn.. we finally made our way to e jelutong tower.. hmm. wonder if it's really made of jelutong wood or wat.. haha. can't be la.. would b dead then since jelutong is supposedly a cheap wood....
e 3 little idiots followed another 2 blur couple.. hoping to find e correct way away frm e jelutong tower.... we went e wrong way!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but nvm.. it WAS fun gettin lost. guess wat.. we saw a huge freshwater turtle and small stripped fish.. and we fed them!! muahahaha... shhhhhh. dun let e rangers know ok...
so we continue our journey along e trail back to where we were... n i was still tryin to find e stupid idiot toilet which seemed to be playing hide and seek with me.. argrgh. next time i go there... and i see it when i dun need it.. i swear i'll just burn it into ashes no matter how hard e task is.
we finally ended our "hike" beside a golf course... oh man... and e sole of my shoe is a bit e not comin out la.. yesh.. 那就是我第一双fila鞋子的生涯了。and apparently, i still cant get over with it n hence, it's rotting in my hse now. *sighs HEAVILY. oh by e way... i didnt find a toilet or managed to ans nature's call at e resevoir at all.
finally got home... and started to slack. before another nightmare begins..... my chinese tuition. *headache.
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 10:39 AM
and the tears you cry
at 10:39 AM