surviving the odds

and still making my stand



i need to speak out.

Friday, February 20, 2009

waah shit. is it all that words cramped within me that i feel like my lungs are not expanding more than half their capacity or that im really getting sick again in the midst of my training for my marathon. DANGS.

so YAY. i passed my FTT today. haha. i thought i was pretty fast, since i was able to check it THRICE and be the 3rd one to leave the room---counting from the back. hahahah. oh wells. better safe than sorry. i've really gotta not just hold on tighter to my expenditure, i've still gotta bandage, vaccuum pack and padlock it away from my premises. my expenditure these days have truly been wholesome.
  1. bag-1
  2. pants-3
  3. hair accessories-3
  4. shirt-2
  5. dress-1
  6. shoes-5
  7. slippers-2
  8. sports bra-2

eh. i guess that's about it. and uhh. okay. so now im not very rich afterall. especially when i happen to realise that my savings seemed to be going downhill. haha.

my brother was like : O_O my dear sistar, have you turned into a shopping queen????

then my dad was like : AYE. how many shoes do you want to own?? (currently topping at 11 and still counting---includes slipper, flats, sports shoes and whatsoever that's mine)

then my sis replied: it's the teenage crisis lah. people her age like to shop a lot. at least this proves that i have a sister and NOT a brother.

my mom was like : WAAAH SIAO. NOT ANOTHER BAG!

me: -_-"

in the mean time, besides waitressing, i've been having driving lessons.. and i really suck at it. my starting and stoppings still jerks and i think going at 30km/h is amazingly fast, how come people still wanna go at 80km/h on normal roads? on the depressing side, i've been praying really hard for our results for failure to land in the process of being transported by an aircraft. that's probably the only plane i'd ever hope terrorists will hijack...

last thing is.. i've grown to realise over the YEARS that the kinda men seet likes can be quite charming. WAHAHAHAHAH. im like OH SHIT. HAVE I FALLEN INTO SOME AGE CRISIS AGAIN??? i hope it's just an interest rather than a mesmerisation(whatever you spell it.) yeah. OH PLEASE. but then again, RP's really charming when he sticks his tongue out in mischief, gives a really retarded smile as he squins his eyes..(ok. maybe this part ain charming) and when he pops a cap down his head and starts to dish out plates after plates of delicacies with wholesome concentration. haaaaiiiiz. (if my life were in cartoon motion, i would have fainted)

HELP. I NEED COUNSELLING.. where are my best friends?




All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 11:06 PM





Friday, February 13, 2009

i've been feeling not very good.
results.
strained relationships.
big family quarrels.
money.
time management.
speciated friends.
pressure into stress.

i dont know. i think there's more.

reflection.
i did.
but it only caused more emotions.
and even more sensitiveness.

im sorry dear.
i shouldnt say i didnt know.
it should have been..
i could have been more understanding
and thereby more tolerating.

guilt filled me up.
angst swallowed me.
lost among reality.

dangs. life's a real real.
straw.
i swear i hate vulgarities.



All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 10:35 PM










clawedwretch
she’s not here, she’s not there.
and she neither stays nor does she hide






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