Monday, August 28, 2006
i thought u were alive.. living somewhere in e forests.. but ut was only a dreamt. sometimes. things got so bad tt i yearned tt u should have brought me along.. 3 weeks. what does it mean to u? i think it's nth. seriously. time hasnt healed a thing. thank u for responding to me. thanking of letting me dream of u. but. will u b with me forever?
shit. i dunno wth m i tokin abt. but at least one thing for sure, if only u ARE alive.
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 10:41 AM
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
suzie made unreasonable demands today.. gosh.. i hate her. i feel so injust yet i cannot voice out anything---e stupid idiot sngs web said tt i was denied a ******* access....
my mom said tt i wasnt helpin her in e chores which i did but she wasnt tt lookin.. told her i did but she kept insisting tt she had to do eveything and had no time for this n that.. pls. who's more bz to do e work? a sec 4 student preparin for prelims n o's or a full-time housewife? WTH.
i wished i could fill my blog up with vulgarities. i feel everyone r so injust to me today. ****!.
i cried agn. thought of u. more than 3 weeks u've been gone but i still think of u.. i think i'm flunkin my tests agn. ****. since u'r gone, there's nth/no one to play n comfort me.. ma n pa are busy abt themselves n doesnt noe a ******* thing abt wat's happening in sch. i try to tell myself tt i must be independent. but i've lost my life skills since u'r gone. im lost. i miss u. shitto. ****. bro n sis r always bz with their work n studies.. they come home late. i feel so lonely n cold. m i too emotional? no i dun think so. im not tt kind of pple who spend most of her time outside e hse.. in fact, i seriously enjoy e comfort zone at home.. or rather, in e presence of u.
give me a hug, give me a sniff, whack me a tail. or maybe, send me a dream. i really miss u. sorry i did not tell u how much i love u before u left, sorry i neglected u so much becos of sch activities... sorry i didnt have time to enjoy time with u.. i noe u'll never come back...but i wished u did. sorry.
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 10:40 PM
Monday, August 14, 2006
u'r gone for 2 whole weeks. have u came back to see me back e window? i've been lighting a candle by e window since u left. mum even placed ur collar so tt u can smell ur way back home.
i dun understand. i think of u day n night, but u never seem to come back to visit me in my dreams. r u really tryin to break off frm me? tell me u'r not. i thought i saw u on sat. she looked similar to u.. had ur mischievous characteristic... she was also black like u.. a buldgin chest... omg. i broke down agn on e bus. was tt u?
tt nite i saw a shoplifter.. my conscience tells me to stop him.. but reality says no.. he may turn violent n hurt ppl. when i got on e bus to return hm.. u seem to appear in my mind.. tellin me tt i shudnt have gone against my conscience.. so wat if mum n dad will reprimand me.. it's morals we'r tokin abt here.
arrgh. woke up in e middle of e night. pains in e chest.. i groaned in soundless pain. y did u go? all ur food, balls, tidbits, belongings still remained! wat's e pt of leaving then? wat's e hurry? someone told me to get a new dog... but tt's not e pt... it's not abt having sth to guard e hse n bark at e strangers.. it's abt e bond. we'r losing bond... NOOOOOOO!!!!! we'r not. time will never fade us apart.
u noe.
i noe.
we all clearly noe within ourselves.
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 10:23 AM