Wednesday, April 1, 2009
oh okay. this week has just begun and i felt an urge to blog again. i guess im just attention-seeking to be blogging and updating the world about my life.
i came to realise only much clearer since monday how much gossips there were in the company.. all the way from the office and management to the kitchen. but yeah, we mustn't deny the usefulness of gossips. it really helps to keep people (or more like blur sotong like myself) informed about the personalities of people, especially superiors. it's like not im absorbing every single information i get by word of mouth because like what people i trust say: you can see for yourself.
i see my favourite mr nice guy complaining to me in an advisory tone about how he is being made to do thing out of his job scope when he's paid a mere thousand two. and that's for a full-timer. and it's not like he's young, it's not like he's unmarried, it's not like he has no family to support.
i observed how the most loyal employee worked. shank. he just worked and worked without complain. and he did it for the last 2 years. most importantly, he never ever got a pay rise, even though he, alike RP is made to go out of the kitchen to call suppliers and sometimes even wipe tables. he isnt a head chef yet he has to create new dishes. and that's without bonus. i was told he was persistant though reluctant because of the amount he could earn as compared back in malaysia. okay, so he's getting paid double. but then again, i sympathised with him. he never got more than 4 hours of sleep in the past 2 years he served with his heart in the company. why is that so? the inefficiency of the management, the arrogance of the superiors and even so-called friends. these are the factors pushing him down back to the most technical and basic stuff, preventing any "inflation" in his pay or reaching up to sit right next to the managers whom he looked upon as friends, or like, people who would lend over a hand. com'on. im totally disgusted at not only the office people, but also he's willingness to exchange his health for money. but if he thinks he's happy, i'll zip up my mouth.
another innocent party of the company, the little sheep would be the most appropriate description for this full-time staff. people leave and go, but she could only persevere on working in either the cafe or the museum. she couldnt have anywhere else to head. this company holds her work permit. but i see her in smiles everything i go to work, she gets surprisingly happy when she's made to work for longer hours. she reasoned: the manager is trying to give me a chance to earn more money. i felt so, so absurd? i don't know. i was really at a lost for words. didnt she realised how she's being manipulated by the manager and the office people? what OT please, it's just an extra 5.50ph rate paid to you after your official shift.
this sucks. the welfare of the staff labouring down there in the kitchen are not taken care off, just because the cafe doesnt earn enough to cover its own cost. the management people, i would say, are just hypocrites, surrounding the boss like butterflies, sweet-talking him to paint him the prettiest yet also the most unfeasible solutions to problem when they had not even investigated to the roots of the problem. it's like, offering a head-chopping or hanging solution to the murderer who killed the "victim", ignorant of the motive of the murderer. ahh. whatever, im making things sound really complicated. you know why? because that's what the management is doing. they make simple things complicated and complicated things simple. evil monsters, are not the way to describe them.
oh wells. before we get our heads chopped off and exploded from our ever-rising blood pressure, a few of us has found outside jobs to leap out to. this group of people does not so happen to include RP, the one and only bartender, me and some other part-timers. i wish we'd leave at the same thing. then again, isnt this too cruel to shank and the little sheep? i don't know. my mind's in a whirl. cant i just be cold-blooded for another time and leave irresponsibly?
the mind whirl doesnt just stop here. i thought of RP, leaving for yes, a place somewhere way better. he could earn more recognition. he could earn more money. and he could also stand to gain via a widening social circle. i fear. would he forget me? would i ever see him again? and if i do, will he see me? will he remember how i stroked his botak head? what about the times he held my hand with fingers crossed? the times we joked together? the days he attempted to display his martial arts strokes and stances? and his numerous attempts to hug and comfort me at my lowest? time is passing really quick. i've got no idea what to do. im at a losing end, am i? oh wait. i already lost. i forgot.
he made me smile:he bought me a dinner meal yesterday because we worked since noon till closing shift. but it's probably me thinking too much again. he's probably apologetic for losing my G2. that's why.
he made me frown:he told me twice that we'd leave from work together. but he didnt in the end. i figured that's because another guy was waiting for him and he has morning shift the next day. and he's just way pissed at the manager (who said she'd change the closing shift half an hour later since the kitchen closing time coincides with the last order time) such that he doesnt wanna face her for the rest of the day.
smile + frown = emotion-less.
im just.
there.
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 3:45 PM