i didn noe e worst has yet to come.
i cried. i screamed. i called my friends for some consolation. but it healed nth. she still passed away today. yes today 31/7/2006 at 4.30pm. i was on my way there! alrdy on e stupid idiot express way.. less than 5 mins there! but she couldnt wait any longer.
i entered e room. armchair n sofas for e concerned pple to sit n sobber over e death of their pet. there lay my beloved dachi. motionless on e table,covered with a white towel. tongue sticking out though still pink but obviously turning into shades of yellow pigmentations. the bloody tube tt was inserted into her vein/artery still left on her right forelimb. she felt very warm. as though she was just sleeping. oh my gawd. i couldnt take e pressure any more. i burst out,not in laughter,but in infinite painful groans.
i pat her thigh. leaving e upper body to my mom whose eyes also swelled like a goldfish's. eeks. what's tt under e cloth, so moist n warm.. gradually, e truth surfaced, it was her blood. somehow, it surfaced up her skin. oh my. so painful. e pain sunk even deeper.
"bless u. bless u. may u find happiness in ur next life....as human hopefully." not to forget, live a life with a blessed fate. u suffered much. and u'r so young when u died! u'r only 5yr 7mths old!!!!
i left e room, bidding silent goodbye to e permanent death on e foldable table... extremely reluctantly. past memories flowed continually into my mind. i couldnt let go of her. i wished she survived. if she did.. i would give her anything. yes anything. even if it'd cost me a hole in my pocket or more household work to do when her fur falls all over e floor.
option for processing of e body? i greatly wished for a cremation whereby we could still get back her ashes. but y? y did my mom choose mass cremation where we would be unable to identiy which ashes is whose? i broke down agn,gasping for breath as my mom penned down her signature on e document. NNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
e request for only e badge to be returned as memories of dachi was definitely granted. we wanted her to carry her collar aong as she left for another world. but e assistant seemed to be deaf or sth. she brought e entire collar along n gave it to us. oh no. now she doesnt have a collar. it signifies a dog tt has no owner.. oh no. dachi. dun worry. u noe i love u. i'll burn a candle for u everyday. i promise tt i wont eat any 4-legged animal startin from now for u like wat i did for winnie.
chem test tmr. i cant be bothered it seems. im so distracted. i cried like it was going to be a end of the world. i wonder if i'll survive e rest of e week. oh pls. give me support. lots of it.
god bless. god bless. n i bless.
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 9:53 PM