poor britney
was viewing maria carey's then leona's videos and was totally awed by these female singers.. then i came across leona singing britney's video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHBG_5YZIgU&NR=1
it's depressing to see how she got transformed from a college girl to what many call a bitch now. she's at the drugs and post-teenage crisis like "how come other (college) people can have sex but i cant?", "why cant i have a boyfriend who doesnt care about me about a superstar or not?" and stuff like that. sad. admit it, she CAN sing and CAN dance. and like everyone, she has her other side of the story that is deeply buried in the music industry.
a bitch or not, i think i admire her. im actually looking forward to listening to her songs everytime i hook myself on youtube. hmm.
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 5:50 PM
and the tears you cry
at 5:50 PM
Monday, December 14, 2009
pardon the screwed up format below. something's terribly wrong with blogger nowadays. :/
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 3:54 PM
and the tears you cry
at 3:54 PM
a little bit here a little bit there
class outing at suntec. had nothing better to do. so we went to the arcade and found ourselves stuck to the neoprints machine. 
was browsing through facebook and i found this!
cycling with my 2 darlings at a recent trip to ECP. i think screwed it up well. haha (:
DEH REAL NEOPRINTS.
national day celebration turned out to be an footwork practise session..All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 3:35 PM
and the tears you cry
at 3:35 PM
EXCITING MEETUPS (:
(photos are not with me. perhaps you'll catch them on facebook. or when im bored, i'll copy over to my blog) woohoo. in a span of 2 days (but actually if you're niao and go and count, it's less than 24 hours), i caught up with all my beloved babes! YAY. i am so thankful.
training on tuesday was DEADLY. haha. combined training really meant combined. at first, second, third and up till the time i assembled for training, i was still thinking that OH. IT'S JUST DOING THE SAME STUFF WITH LESSER REPETITIONS AND LESSER INTENSITY. freak. gawd knows the poor few of us(girls) suffering from post-examinations-fitness-failure were made to run in front of the guys. O_O (perhaps from my seniors point of view, it meant that i become deprived of motivation from my eyecandy -_-" I SWEAR HE NEVER POPPED IN MY MIND UNTIL THEY MENTIONED HIM. i am a very focused fellow at trainings) i guessed the initial plan was to make us do circuits as we RUN the entire round of NTU. but after several stations of pushups, pullups, crunches, scissor-kicks and dips, the girls spilt up from the guys, reducing our routine by approximately half. or you could simply put it the other way as that the guys gave up on the girls who ran so slowly~ T_T went for lunch with claire and slyvia after training. we spent 1hour to stone before another hour to eat. WE WERE FREAKING DRAINED. haha. thankfully, the night training wasnt that bad because we all managed to get some nap during the day. (AHH. I CLEANED
body is slow so i began aching A LITTLE PUNIE BIT the next day. rushed home hoping to SHOW my face to my mom but i guess the supermarket was more important at that time of the day? -_-" met seet at the mrt station soon after reaching home and WHEEE. the begining of the crazy fuzzy girl story:
i couldnt run with ease. so seet bought 40bucks worth of food from ion alone. and SHE KNOWS WE'RE GOING TO HAVE LUNCH. char and jwong were probably butterflying away in holland village so yea, seet was literally in heaven. ME? HAHA. SPOTTING HOT BABES AND HUNKS OF COURSE. unfortunately none was spotted. lunched off simply at foodrepublic (see the contrast of perspective on food between me and seet..) and catching up with stories of lovelife and schoollife. rushed off to meet ks at cineleisure and yay. KBOX FINALLY. supposed to end at 5.30pm but we figured that we shouldnt go overboard and finally bidded the room goodbye at 6.30pm SURPRISINGLY no one came to shoo us off! so MAYBE we sung too well or MAYBE they were guilty of ks's strawberry yogurt which took 3 hours to came and magically turned into strawberry soda O_O ok. that that's for wed. was supposed to club. but due to unforseen circumstances, i didnt in the end. but it's kind of a BLESSING.
scheduled to meet seet at the same mrt station at 745 this MORNING. talk loads of cock and chicken. hahh. those were the days we always attempt to board the same train to school. arrived at bedok SLIGHTLY too early so we drifted around the hawker centre where seet continue to drool. AT LEAST she bought lesser. renu was faithfully waiting at the 401 bench and i could imagine her in that whiteblousegreenskirt again... we stood at the makeshift busboarding station and finally realised something. IT ONLY OPERATES ON FREAKING WEEKENDS. HAHAHA. IM SUCH A GENIUS. but hey, the bus route directory didnt mention that! before we lose our way and break our legs we proceeded to the counter and I ASKED for directions. yet another embarassing moment. SO BIG A PAPER PASTED ON THE GLASS BLOCKING MY VIEW BUT I DIDNT SEE that it states how to go to ECP. DINGDING. (actually, this scenario is of close resemblence to my colour-blindness test. WHOOOPSIEEE. i guess HISTORY DOES REPEATS ITSELF)
seet says my cycling skills are terrible. haha. dont doubt her words. >.< but that's just because, WELL. after familiarising with a vehicle it's really awkward to be riding something "primitive" again! like, you cant control the steering simply with just a hand or two gentle grips. instead, you have to grab the handles so tightly as if you were not riding, but TEST-RIDING a rollercoaster you invented yourself. then you cant signal left or right nor do you have rear mirrors to look out of cyclists "tailgating" yourself! EVEN WORSE, you cant brake as usual with your foot and you dont have brakelights for those behind you!(explains the near crashes i had behind me today XD) NOW YOU SEE. A BICYCLE DOESNT HAVE ALL THESE TO PREVENT AN ACCIDENT!-------->> SEET AGREED WITH ME TODAY. so renu? YOU BETTER AGREE. HEH.
sigh. im so gonna miss these babes. not yet frankly. but when i get the time alone, perhaps i'll emo about the retarded photos we took, the countless attempts of jumpshots HEH, the strangely remote paths we took, the amount of laughter we had under the baking sun and the evil temptations we tried to do on one another will soon be a fond memory once again. but NO WORRIES. WE SHALL RELIVE IT SOOOOOOOOON! NEXT CHRISTMAS MY DEARS! and people having hangover from clubbing like jwong can join us officially too. HAHA.
*a point of note: my gorilla brother called me a baboon. cause IM RED from sunburns and I CANT SIT PROPERLY thanks to the bike seat*
what an awesome way to start the week. (: but my body aches hasnt gone. AWWWWWWW MANN. i dread basketball 3-on-3 tomorrow. I CANT FREAKING PLAY THE DARN BALL GAME WELL.
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 9:43 PM
and the tears you cry
at 9:43 PM
post year 1 sem 1 exams.
yayness. exams are FINALLY over for me. biostatistics a killer that i still dont get, either it's simply because the notes werent sufficient, or that i didnt mug hard enough. but given the plight of my head buzzing with occassional headaches, i think i tried my best. ahh, chemical energetics that tells you all about explosive compounds. i never found it such a breeze. but i S/U-ed it. (S/U means it wont be counted as part of your GPA no matter how well you score. BUT if you get below a C, you need to retake that blardy module) what a waste.
kinda depressing that i didnt get to hang out with my friends like what we used to (those days after all major examinations and minor tests we would go kbox to find out how much lung power had been diminished or simply window shopping to burn extra tyres). it was RAINing cats and dogs it sorta more of drenched my thought of going window shopping especially when i felt like this weight that had been held afloat above my head just dropped. hmm. it sounds weird but perhaps you'll get the idea if i give u an analogy. it's like your survival instincts that's keeping you from blacking out. and when you finally see your rescuers, you surprisingly just couldnt hold on anymore and just drop unconscious right in front of them, not before they come or after they send you to the hospital, it's like RIGHT ON THE DOT. (actually, it's interesting to know that such a reflex is not a myth or drama. it's got something to do with a drop in some neurotransmitter or something. aiyah I FORGOT LAH) so similarly, the moment i know i finished the last word on my last paper, my brain just gushed. like how it feels when you turn upside down for an uncomfortable amount of time. awful but bearable. the aftermath was i was speaking super monotonously. i cant talk and look at the person at the same time, because somehow it used more brainpower and would hurt my head even more. I DO NOT KNOW WHY.
ok, got a ride home from my brother who was initially, dont know reluctant or, simply just too preoccupied to send me home. oh wells. televisioned abit for the brain-dead me and then i stare at the economics notes i brought home. ARGH. head hurts, not because of the dreadful memories of mugging alone 24/7 in hall, but the very basic TO THROW OR NOT TO THROW question. oh my gawd. i feel so useless.
right, so let's proceed on to something more substantial and in a way, less reader-friendly as my blog entry goes on and on and on and on....longer until you dont just see stars, you see the whole galaxy..
dinner was the best time to interact, and get updates of happenings in the country, the neighbourhood, the home and even that very zi cha stall your dad likes to patronise. loansharks have never been part of my life circle. and now i truly appreciate this fact. this foodstall AM had moved to a new location due to steep increase in rent at the original location so my family happily hunted down this new kopitiam. it was amazingly had to navigate it because the carpark was zig-zig-zag-zig-zag.. but uh, i guess it's better by foot, but the thing is, the kopitiam isnt very centrally located! ahh, anyways, amazement turned horror (at least to me) when i saw the kopitiam signboard splashed with red paint. i asked innocently in disbelief, " is that a ritual to glam up the shop and attract customers?" the answer was and i doubt is ever gonna be known. but my sister speculate the doings of loansharks. hmmmm. does this mean AM's gonna move again? besides, the area of the coffeeshop is pretty small, seems unprofitable for a cookshop like theirs.
the conversation then brought attention to a close relative's new house. the previous owner just moved out and my relatives hasnt shifted in, and we already begin to see O$P$ sign at the lift lobby. my oh my. i am devastated. never have my encounters with loansharks and debt collections been so upclose. (actually, it isnt even upclose, but this is enough to induce fear in me. imagine those poor souls living in less safe regions of the world! like JB! like brazil! *faints*) my dad is suspicious of the previous owner, about why they gave up this centrally located house so suddenly, about why they made their benevolent-looking (thanks to CH for providing vocabulary into my blog) old mother move house so unreluctantly, about why the door was so hideously painted with a thick layer of paint... now we hope to settle this privately with the private owner.. ASAP.
my foot's kinda hurting when it rains. it makes me feel old :/// but i guess it's simply due to my last injury. coincidentally, my brother's, sister's and mom's leg all hurt in one way or another. NOW I THINK WE SHOULD GO TO THE TEMPLE SOON. and hopefully, in the next lunar new year, may all things turn better. now im wondering when my birthday wish would come true. it seems the less materialistic you get in your wishes, the less likely it is to come true. why? ): maybe i prayed too hard and too sincere until it sounded fake. can our religious God differentiate actually?
my my. year's coming to an end but luck hasnt gone uphill for my family yet. it's driving nuts and im gonna grow some cactus, eh, not a good idea because my house's pretty clattered so placing an extra cactus might just cause more harm than good. so maybe some secret fengshui book im gonna invest. WISH US LUCK.
in the meanwhile, "holiday" has begun for me. a WHOLESOME holiday of ISG IHG and trainings. WHERE DO I FIND TIME TO DO CATCHING UPS WITH MY DARLINGS?! *wails* looks like i'll have to start weighing opportunity cost once again. to be a slacker (if skip training) or a betrayer (if skip games) or to be a missing soul ( if skip catchups). oh man. my head hurts again.
let's think of something happier, christmas is coming. (ok. how is that a happier thing.)
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 10:55 PM
and the tears you cry
at 10:55 PM
today shouldnt be a blogging day still.
i am freaking freaking bored out by notes after notes. especially when i think i understand something, and then DINGDING! the next moment im referring back to the page. and the cycle repeats, viciously. how irritating.i was browsing through with low hopes http://canoepolo3on3.wordpress.com/ when i was so down after 103 paper. (not that i did well or bad for 103, but it's really a rojak feeling, and it wasnt pleasant at all) then i felt this adrenaline rush, all the people there, the sport, the fun and true life and only life i'd be getting from my last official chapter of studying life. and then i msn-ed senior F who gave me suggestions and how they themselves actually coped. i agreed. in one way or another, we'll definitely overcome it. besides, when you're really stressed up with work, it's good to go for some distractions. NEVERMIND the cost if you can AFFORD and have the PASSION. OPY was telling me just that, thank you. i think my adventurous nature is not gonna be smacked down by the workload. if i really like it, i should go for it. (same goes for you guys)
so im sort of settled back into canoepolo-ing and splurging the big bucks on the sport. afterall, i'll never get to really learn the sport out there let alone touch it once i step foot out of the country. so, i'll just take it that im paying $350 (min.) as a 3 year membership to take up canoe polo "courses" actually, making such calculation, it's kinda worth it actually. think it from the swimming lessons POV (point of view) (some people claim i use too much short forms), you pay for a child rate, 55bucks a month then your child learns it for minimum one year, THAT'S LIKE >$600 BUCKS!! ahh. ok. so im pretty much settled. BUT, definitely im getting a secondhand one though. or listen to senior R and get a NICE guy to share (nice so when it breaks, he doesnt complain but willingly fork up the sum). and then shall squeeze out pathetic time slot during the holidays to work. i know that's not gonna get me anywhere independent, but at least i know im not living off my parents too much. i think i just have to constantly remind myself of who has been financing my education and how they did that in the first place.
played songs after songs. and i found one that was very encouraging: NO BOUNDARIES
Seconds hours so many days
You know what you want but how long can you wait
Every moment last forever if you feel you've lost your way
What if your chances are already gone
Started believing that I could be wrong
But you give me one good reason to fight and never walk away
Coz here I am — still holding on!
Every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe it's harder to believe you'll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricane to get to that one thing
When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you've almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand and show you that you can
You can go higher you can go deeper
There are no boundaries above and beneath you
Break every rule coz there's nothing between you and your dreams
ok. so much for the song. im crossing my fingers that i'll stick to this decision.(yeah i know what you're thinking so much for typing so much thought-to-be logic right..)but dont you just agree that it's better that i talk to more people about it? then again, my mom probably say, don't join. focus on your studies(and lead a mugger life---ok. i added that myself) and my dad would give an ambiguous answer. im wondering what my encouraging brother and sister would say after i tell them about the cost.
(no need to tell me you feel like slapping me to make up my mind. i wanna do that too. but let's keep that to the post-exams)
i kinda apologise and not apologise for the camwhoring photos too. i thought my post would be way too wordy so isnt it entertaining to substitute in some random pictures i took over the semester. im always alone when taking them. oh. talk about loneliness man. my roomie ended her exams in a week. but it's just 2 papers anyway. good for her. i've got 6 for a span of 3 weeks and only 4 down so far. :/ AHHH. so now im alone.
i kinda apologise and not apologise for the camwhoring photos too. i thought my post would be way too wordy so isnt it entertaining to substitute in some random pictures i took over the semester. im always alone when taking them. oh. talk about loneliness man. my roomie ended her exams in a week. but it's just 2 papers anyway. good for her. i've got 6 for a span of 3 weeks and only 4 down so far. :/ AHHH. so now im alone.>>sister calls<<
alright. so tonight is a vistor night i suppose? my sister's coming over with food, specifically her dinner...............(ok. i guess you dont wanna hear anymore miscellaneous details)
i'll miss my roomie until i see her next semester. meanwhile, over the december month, im in charge of all the cleaning, or my nose and health would just suffer like crap. grrr. so im gonna dear for her presence especially in the wee hours cause it's really different to open your eyes and see someone physically there rather than an empty bed. in hall, an empty bed is analogous to an empty heart. oh no, imagine i get a single room! im so gonna make friends ALL around.
actually, im already longing to meetup with sweet swan caramel glucose and jwong. (haha. the weird names i gave and i really remember them) my heart's so heavy at the thought of them. perhaps this just added on the the rojak feeling im having back once again.
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 7:59 PM
and the tears you cry
at 7:59 PM
homerun. bad homerun. despised homerun.
ahhh. everything's back to square one. when i start to truly enjoy the game, when i find myself staying on wanting to learn more, when i couldnt stop going back because i know my "teammates" will always be there. ( " " used because we're not officially a team yet. just members until we play a match or something-----which makes it even more depressing)
but there's just this one odds. this high barrier putting me back to where i started: which cca should i join. like hello? i thought i've decided on canoe polo after my foot cut my soccerpath, or at least sort of. i was so dead on joining this new unexplored sport, making my stand that i can cope well both in terms of sports and academics. but 40bucks for a helmet PLUS 290 for a second hand paddle is just too much, especially my lifespan as a canoepolo player isnt gonna be firm and concrete. in less than 3 years time, i'll be flying to china. you cant expect me to canoepolo there right? and let the paddle and helmet rot somewhere... if i were to be taking another course, perhaps it'll be no doubt i'll just get it cause i know i can simply continue with it even after graduation. ok say i come back after graduating in china, will i still play? naah, unlikely, by then i'd lost touch with the sport and have to attend to patients rather than players. i feel so guilty and bastard that i talk like this cause it simply sounded like i dont even have any passion for canoe polo. frankly, i do not know myself either. but i do know, i wanna learn the sport, master it, and enjoy it. peservere is everything to me. i hate giving up. i hate being a loser. i hate to have accomplished nothing but achieving the paper that would determine the future salary of mine. im begging you to let me have some life out here.
alright, so say i decide to go with the flow. but i wouldnt even know if i would have the time to continue with training. all the core modules are blowing me off my feet. im looking at my timetable, it's freaking packed. ok not so packed yet but you've got to admit it's quite some load to be already taking 6 papers in the first semester of a freshie. and it'll just be adding on and on and on and on and on... then you're gonna bring in this BMS senior who's also in canoe polo. if she can do it, why cant i? yeah, why not? then i ask myself, does cost really matter? and does cost really NOT matter? to make things even more complicated, i do not know how my jaw op next year would affect my training and performance. if it does, it'll be a really painful opportunity missed. and i dont want that either.
so question is, should i stay or should i go? if i stay, it might just be a burden on my parents. or say i reject using their money and use what i earned(those punie bits) during the holiday, they'd just explode hearing the cost anyway. if i go, where can i go? soccer's part of my dream list, i doubt i can play properly at least until next academic year.
oh. my. gawd. i really need some advice out there. YELPS. i've still got 3 papers and im so bothering by this shit. my head really hurts. and i simply have to put down whatever im doing and head for distractions. ):
and i really wished some canoe polo senior sees this. (i am in such a deep shit. like, again.)
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 8:25 PM
and the tears you cry
at 8:25 PM
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Rah rah ah-ah-ah!
Ro mah ro-mah-mah
Gaga Ooh-la-la!
Want your bad romance
was watching her youtube video. over and over again. i saw her tears. and her eyes with the least makeup ever. the only thing that came to my mind was, was it really herself? her off stage self? then i proceeded to watching bad romance behind the scenes. over and over again. how come they never mentioned the cost of the mtv? freak. it must have cost a HUGE bomb.
ahh. anyway, that was freaking random. even the tea. just thought of showing how in real life, we can actually see that caffeine is not really that soluble in water afterall. LOL.
3 papers down. 3 more to go. CHIONG AH. (gosh. i feel like im at home even though im in hall. my mom keeps sending food over. and calls me every now and then. now wonder i havent craved for home. i only crave spaghetti and curry, in separate meals of course.)
All the sleepless nights;
and the tears you cry
at 5:51 PM
and the tears you cry
at 5:51 PM